I Am Just A Grandmother, But Evidently A Deplorable One

I Am Just A Grandmother

(But Evidently A Deplorable One)

I don't think I have always been "deplorable". I grew up in a military household, moving several times to accommodate the Air Force. My dad was a good man, and quite handsome. My mother followed along but later in life, I realized it wasn't so willingly. I had younger brothers that I cared for during the end of the Vietnam War while Dad was moving TDY to different islands in the Pacific Rim. Mom was getting an education to "better" herself. That left me, at 12, 13, 14 to start caring for my brothers. I wasn't the best sister, but I can say now that I don't know what I would do without my brothers. I love them so much and all in all, we have a good relationship, as different as we all are. I don't consider myself back woods, ignorant, country, uneducated, none of the things that I see HRC's supporters calling me. 

I am now 57 years old and have recently let my hair go to its natural color - grey. Not because I really choose this, but circumstances choose it for me. I really wish I could afford to pay the money to keep it colored and highlighted to hide the grey but there are more pressing responsibilities.  You see, at 51, my husband and I became the primary caregivers for one of our grandchildren. She was born, CPS was involved, and she came home with us. Don't get me wrong, I can't imagine our lives without her. She has brought VERY positive things in to our life's but a lot of responsibility. This doesn't come without cost to our other grandchildren because we function as her parents instead of her grandparents. Sometimes it is painful for the other grandchildren and their parents to understand. I know one day when they are our age, they will see it a little more clearly.

Now, with that background, I will admit this. My husband has called me a bleeding heart Democrat for years. I firmly believe that education is the only way out of poverty. Children do not have a say in their circumstances. And most of all, what about the children in other countries left to suffer and die from disease and hunger, war and neglect? I considered myself a little more middle of the road. I voted that way too over several elections. My husband is going to read this and for the first time know I wasn't always a straight republican ticket voter!! 

However, this election has been difficult. Raising a child in today's environment with the needs and requirements to try and give her the best quality of life, knowing one day that kids will make fun of her for living with her old grandparents, I want her to be confident, brave, fierce and know that she is the best she could possibly be. 

You see, I lost my job for taking her in to our home. A job I had climbed up the ladder for. Thirty years working in a male dominated industry, and to eventually get to that place I wanted to be and was proud to be. I didn't go to college, because I was raising children. I went from raising my brothers to raising my own children. By the way, raising kids was something I thought I knew how to do so well already, but in fact, I look back to that time forty years ago when our first son was born and I was ignorant, immature and didn't have a clue. 

My boss offered me a promotion, then rescinded it when he wrote me an email calling me a loving enabler and Mother Hubbard type for taking our granddaughter in. I never asked, but wonder if HE would let his grandchild go in to the Foster Care System. In Texas it is truly deplorable. He fired me four months after calling me a Mother Hubbard. I had "family obligations" he found concerning.  He then promptly hired a man. I wonder if the newly hired man was ask about his family obligations?  Did you know that Caregivers are not a protected class under the Civil Rights Act of 1964? If I had been gay, I would be protected, a person of color - protected, on and on and on. Because I was a Caregiver for a child, or anyone caring for an elderly family member, I was not protected. I am LUCKY so to speak, because he used the term Mother Hubbard which gave me the right to file an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission complaint based on sex discrimination.

Also, did you realize that because we took our granddaughter in, there are no offers of financial support. Don't get me wrong. We didn't take her for that. If she had gone into the Foster System, there are financial stipends as there should be for someone taking in a child. Welfare offers stipends for mothers that continue to have children.  Our government increases their food stamps, welfare checks and Medicaid. Because we kept Miss Thang out of Foster Care, we support her.  

When I lost my job, that became quite a game changer and was very difficult for me personally AND for us. Here we were at a time in our lives when we were suppose to be planning for retirement and trying to put away all we possibly could, and my promotion was really going to allow us to plan for our family of three, but instead we had to change our way of thinking.   

So, as this election started taking shape and I realized that my true choices were going to be HRC or DJT, I looked at them both. I will admit that being from a military family, what happened in Benghazi with those military fathers, brothers, families was very difficult for me to swallow.  I think that was my biggest obstacle with HRC.  I found her to be profoundly insincere.   He was a blowhard, loud mouth, that let his biggest downfall be OPENING HIS MOUTH. She was just as guilty of that when she called Trump supporters a "basket of deplorable's".  HRC protected her husband from years of his indiscretions yet called him out for his sexist ways. 

I had no idea as I walked in to that voting booth on the first day of early voting, what I was going to do. Did I throw away my vote to the Independent or Green candidate, or did I take a plunge and make a choice on our two main candidates. I actually stood in that booth, granddaughter at my side, and looked at the ballot. Could I just leave the President boxes unchecked? No one would ever know. Or, did I make a choice and take a gamble. I choose to click the DJT box. I have had enough of our government intruding on everything. Except that which I found important. 

Healthcare is a mess. Insurance companies pulling out of states because of losses. The healthy young population not buying in to the ACA and taking the risk, leaving the older, less healthy population to drain the system. Even with group coverage, which we are blessed to have through my husband's employer, our cost goes up every year. 

How can we care for other nations, when we can't care for our own adults, children, and veterans? We have an entire generation of children being raised by grandparents. I truly believe, this will get worse as the next generation has children. How can the people voted in by us to represent us, our congressmen and representatives completely disregard the constituents that voted them in to office.  I want to be a person of change. I have worked for the last year to get my two congressmen and one representative to even return an email, much less a phone call to discuss adding Caregivers to the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This is not just a party response. 

Whether Democrat or Republican, they just don't care if you don't have a donation check in your hand. We need to drain the swamp of the "hands out, blood sucking people in Washington". I think there need to be term limits. New blood, new ideas - what a NOVEL idea!!  If what isn't working ISN"T working, then make changes. Clearly, that isn't possible with life long, living off our dime people in Washington. 

I found HRC to be part of that establishment. She was hooked in with all the right people. She had her connections. She was disconnected and choose not to work to gain the white voter. She courted celebrities, but do you really think anyone buys a song on iTunes or goes to a movie because the singer/star supports a particular candidate?   It was an American/Washington Insider issue, from the President, to the Congress, and on down. 

So, with Miss Thang at my side, I clicked the button for Trump. While his mouth is completely offensive at times, he still seems to be able to get things done that need to be done. Change in our society that needs to be made. Support for the American families so that when we are all good and healthy, we can then step out and attempt to fix other countries and their families. Change that really matters.

So all this said, I am not uneducated. I am not ignorant. I just wanted change. I no longer was satisfied with the status quo. I respect your choice and the way your life experience helped you decide who to vote for. Please respect mine. 

Now, I am hopeful that as we move along, we can all work together and see change. Change that YOU and I are making together.